The Big Day Brew-HaHa Read online

  “How about I tell you what I do know, Kieran? Then you can fill in the rest.” My gaze pierced Sal’s so intensely, I had to remind myself that I wasn’t staring at Fernando. It freaked me out, but I shook it off. “I see a shiny, black horse. It’s wild and beautiful, but underneath there’s ugly darkness.”

  “What?”

  “And I also know this black horse has a name. It’s—”

  “Fine. Have it your way.”

  “What?!”

  I blinked hard then whirled around to face the voice behind me.

  “Kieran!” Amelia screeched. “You came back for me!” In a flash, she had firmly reattached herself to a different leg. One that was remarkably solid, considering it’d just materialized out of Sal’s body.

  “Holy heliotrope,” Sage whispered.

  I checked on Sal who was muttering “frickin’ nuts” under his breath but otherwise seemed unharmed. I had to give kudos where kudos were due. After everything this guy had witnessed and experienced in this town, he was still here. He must really have a thing for petals.

  Violet gasped. “You’re a kelpie.”

  I directed my attention back to the extremely attractive man with the sleek, black hair. He bowed. “At your service.”

  “You stay right there.”

  “Why?” I asked. “What’s wrong with kelpies?” I’d heard of them but couldn’t recall any details; however, I did clearly remember my vision of the horse and its dark side. But how did that fit in?

  “Let’s just say this Kieran guy wouldn’t be able to cross the threshold of my shop.”

  Right, the mugwort. Aka Violet’s herbal security system. She hung it from her doorway to keep out malicious intruders.

  “So, are we talking a little defamatory gossip like the Phineas twins or—”

  “He’s a death omen.”

  Oh.

  “I don’t so much as forecast death as cause it, but close enough.”

  My mouth dropped. How much more “good luck” could Clare stand on her wedding day?

  “Don’t let his looks fool you,” Violet said. “He’s supposed to be beautiful. That’s how he lures humans into the lake to eat them, after taking on the form of a water horse.”

  Ah, so that was how it all fit in.

  “Except for their livers,” Kieran said. “Can’t stomach those nasty, greasy things.”

  “That was you?” I recoiled. Yet another thing I’d come across in Walter Jones’s journal. The town’s secret keeper had noted a wave of deaths over fifty years ago, long before I was born. The only body parts recovered from the lake were their livers.

  My jaw couldn’t scrape the ground any harder. I was getting road rash.

  “Yes, that was me. However, it was a lifetime ago. I’ve turned over a new leaf since then.”

  “Is that right?” Sage said. “Then what exactly were you doing inhabiting Sal here, huh?”

  “Trying to hide from this one.” He cast his eyes down to Amelia. “Can you blame me?”

  “What did you do to her?” Violet demanded.

  “I gave you my skin,” Amelia said. “Don’t leave me again. Please.”

  Eww. That was the second time she’d mentioned that. “To… eat?” I asked, cringing. I was going to spew chunks.

  “No, he only eats humans,” Violet said with disgust.

  “Ate humans, remember? I’ve changed.”

  “You used this poor girl, and she shed her skin for you. And now she can’t even go back. Amelia is stuck here on land to live out a miserable existence. How dare you?”

  Ding ding ding. “Wait, you’re a… selkie?”

  “Yes, she is,” Violet replied, “and this monster ruined her.”

  Wow, I’d actually remembered something from my studies. Selkies were seal-like magicals who lived in water but could come on land if they shed their pelt. But to do so meant they lost their powers.

  “Why did she give it to you—for what purpose?”

  “Because she wanted to. She fell in love with me.”

  “You mean because you tricked her to fall in love with you,” Violet said.

  He shrugged. “Same difference.”

  “Really?” She gestured to his seal leg bond and the river of tears forming around him. “So, how’s that working out for you now?”

  “If your goal was to avoid her by hiding out in Sal,” I asked, “wouldn’t it have been easier to just give her back her pelt? Then she’d return to the water and leave you alone.” I assumed. Maybe she really did think she loved him. But even if she didn’t, she lived in the water and he was a water horse, so…

  “I misplaced it.”

  “Excuse me?” Violet snapped. “Misplaced it? How could you be so irresponsible?”

  “What can I say? I used to be a bad boy.”

  “No. Luring people onto your dinner plate is not ‘bad boy.’ It’s Jeffrey Dahmerish. And destroying this sweet selkie’s life? Absolutely inexcusable.”

  “It’s my nature. Or was. I’m not interested in that life anymore. I think perhaps I’ve mentioned that already.”

  “So, what? Your plans now are to find a nice kelpie girl and settle down to a meal of seaweed every night?”

  “Something like that. But obviously, none of it will happen until this one leaves my side.”

  Sal was remarkably calm during all this, even though he had the most to fear, being human. Or maybe he was just in shock. I’d imagine that’d be a suitable response after finding out a malevolent water demon had been possessing your body. But for how long, exactly? When did—

  “Are you going to help me or what?” Kieran said.

  “Help you? Why would we do that? You brought this on yourself.”

  “Because—”

  “Let me get this straight,” Sage said, after a period of looking contemplative. “You used my man as your private hotel because you were too much of a wimp to face the consequences of your own actions?”

  Her man? Since when? I thought he was just her date?

  “If you must know, I was weak at the time. An easy option presented itself, and I took it. I didn’t have the strength for anything else.” He zeroed in on Sal. “I apologize. It was because of my presence you were attacked.”

  “Attacked?” My eyes widened, and Sage and I gaped at each other. “By what?”

  Sal remained silent. He’d told us before that he thought a dog had taken a chunk out of his side. The wound had been bad enough for Sage to bring him back to her place and nurse him back to health because he’d refused to go to the hospital.

  “It appeared to be a cotton ball with razor-sharp teeth,” Kieran said. “Not that I could feel it, of course.” Sage knifed him a dagger. “It happened moments after I occupied him. That’s all I can recall.”

  “Peter,” I said, putting everything together.

  Peter, the neighborhood watchdog who took her job very seriously. Yes, Peter was a “her.” She ate anything that disrupted the peace. It hadn’t been a kappa that bit him, but Sal had still been lucky to get out with just a bite, albeit a serious one. Peter lived a couple of doors down from Trixie Zweifler, and that was around the area where his car had broken down a couple of months prior. I assumed the possession and subsequent attack had occurred after he’d spoken with Mrs. Stein and she’d given him the check to pay off his brother’s debt. Otherwise, Chimera would have mentioned it to Sage. But did the exact timing of everything really matter? I was more interested in…

  “What were you doing by Beatrix Zweifler’s house?” I asked Kieran. My gut was doing that topsy-turvy thing, and I was pretty sure I already knew the answer, but I had to hear it from him.

  “She’s our queen.”

  “Um… what?” Nope. Not the answer I was expecting.

  “Beatrix is our queen. She’s taken care of us for many a year, and we owe her a debt of gratitude. If we had not been so carefully tended, we would have crumbled to dust long ago.”

  “And the place she took care of y
ou… was it by chance her yard?”

  “It was.”

  I shivered something fierce. Now, that was the answer I was expecting.

  The stone statues had returned to life.

  Chapter Five

  “Where’d everybody go?”

  Griffin stood in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. I ran up to him. “I thought you were with Damon? You were inside this whole time?”

  He yawned. “Yeah.”

  “What the heck were you doing?”

  “Taking a nap.”

  “A nap?”

  “Yeah, I got really tired all of a sudden, couldn’t keep my eyes open. I didn’t miss the wedding, did I?”

  “No, not exactly…”

  He peered around me. “Why’s that girl crying?”

  “Long story.”

  I grabbed hold of his arm and steered him back inside. Upon entering, I was pleased to see there were still a handful of guests around, the majority of them magicals, but still… at least not all of them had been affected.

  He yawned again. “Still pretty tired, huh?” I had to get back outside so we could figure out a plan. We only had a couple of hours to return Clare’s maid of honor before the ceremony started.

  “Yeah, I stayed up pretty late last night writing.”

  Hmm. But would that have been enough to make him take a nap—at a reception? He wasn’t two.

  “I have another super big favor to ask of you, and I’ll explain everything later. Promise.” He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. “Violet and I have some, um, duties to take care of for Clare since Bettina had to make a hasty exit. I need you to hold down the fort here until we come back.”

  “Sure.”

  Sure? Wow, that was easy. He wasn’t even going to question why I was asking him to be in charge of a room that had barely anyone in it?

  “And keep an eye on my purse?”

  “No problem.” He pulled it off my shoulder. “See you in a bit,” he said, pulling me toward him and kissing the side of my head. “Love you.”

  He trudged over to Zed’s table, who was still behind it making coffee, and plopped down on a chair. I gave him five minutes before he was back off to dreamland.

  “I love you too,” I whispered, then headed for the door.

  Sage poked her head inside. “You’d better get out here. It’s not a good idea to leave Violet alone with Kieran too long. She’s liable to rip off his skin.”

  “Yep, I’m going out there now.” She squeezed my arm then continued inside. “Wait. Where are you going?”

  “Francesca is calling for me.”

  “Who?”

  “Francesca. The bridal bouquet I made for Clare?”

  “Well, I know you made her a bouquet; I didn’t know you named it.”

  “She named herself. Really, Samm.”

  “Of course. Sorry. So, why is she calling for you?”

  “All the commotion earlier really frightened her. Poor thing. She was probably calling out for me for a while and it was just too noisy to hear. I have to go comfort her and tell her everything will be all right.”

  “Okay.” Thankfully, Clare’s bouquet wasn’t with Clare at the moment. Wouldn’t want Sage to have to bust into the room, and if a plant friend was in distress, she would in a heartbeat. “Wait. Sorry. One more thing. What about Sal? You’re just leaving him out there?”

  Her face grew strained. “Sal had to step away for a while. He’s not a concern right now.”

  “Step away where? And for how long?”

  She let out a loud puff of air. “I’m not sure, but he needed to go. And I have to respect his decision.”

  “Oh, Sage.” I’d probably jinxed it by thinking how well he was handling everything. He could be screaming for Chicago as we speak, running as if a pack of wild frogs were croaking at his heels. “I’m so sorry. Are you o—”

  “Stop.” She held up a hand. “It’s no big deal.” Right. Tell that to her sad eyes; I don’t think they got the message. “I have to go and see to Francesca now, and you have to go and get Bettina back. I’ll see you at the ceremony.”

  I smiled. “Okay.”

  She blew me a kiss. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks.”

  After a quick glance at Griffin, who was indeed squeezing in another power nap, I slipped out the front door. No bloodshed. That was a good sign.

  “We need to recover Amelia’s pelt,” Violet said upon seeing me. “Wherever it is. She can’t stay this vulnerable for much longer.”

  “I agree, but first we need to get Bettina.”

  “I disagree,” Kieran said. “The skin must be found first, and then you can trouble yourself with other matters.”

  “And who are you to make that decision?” I asked.

  “I am someone who needs your help.”

  “No, Amelia needs our help, and we will give it. We’ll do everything we can to give her her life back, but it will be done after the ceremony. There’s no time before.”

  He laughed. “Do you honestly believe you’ll accomplish anything without my helping you in return?”

  I turned to Violet. “Care to fill me in on what went down out here while I was inside?”

  “Amelia will only leave Kieran alone if she is reunited with her skin, which will restore her power. Otherwise, she is helpless. And according to him, he’s the only one who can present her with it. She cannot accept it from anyone else since he is the one she offered it to.” Violet flashed him a nasty look. “It was a precious gift. He was supposed to keep it safe. Not misplace it.”

  “Amelia is not the only one in bondage,” Kieran said. “I will also never be free to live my life until the skin is found and given to me, in order to present to her. Until then we are bound as one.”

  “Do you trust what this guy is saying?” I asked Violet.

  Her expression responded, No, but what other options do we have?

  “Okay, Kieran. If we help you, then what?”

  “Then I’ll help you.”

  “You’ll help us bring Bettina and the rest of the guests back here safely in time for the ceremony? You’ll ensure that Bob the Satyr and his merry band of misfits stay far, far away?”

  “No, but I will advise you.”

  “Advise us? What good is that?”

  “Your idea to mislead him down to the lake was a sound one,” he told Violet. “The farther away from a celebration, the less energy he has to feed off of.” She gave me an ‘I told you so’ smirk. “However, the idea was also terribly flawed.” Her smirk dropped. “Balthazar will not be pleased—”

  “Now, who’s Balthazar?”

  “The Satyr, of course. Isn’t that whom we’re speaking about?”

  “Oh, Bob…” It would’ve been nice to know that in the beginning, instead of some silly nickname. Think of all the headaches it would’ve prevented. Balthazar… A shiver snaked up my spine. Now, that was a sinister name.

  “As I was saying, Balthazar will not be pleased when he discovers he’s been deceived. He’s expecting a night of debauchery and merriment, and he’ll be sure he gets it, however the means. Fortunately, he’s taken a liking to Bettina, so that should ease him for a bit.”

  “Fortunately? No, that is not fortunate. What is wrong with you?”

  “Which is why you need my assistance. Best of luck getting her back without it.”

  “And what do you suggest we do?”

  “The only way to contain the situation and ensure a favorable outcome for your friends’ wedding is to enlist the support of Queen Beatrix.”

  Trixie, a queen? That sounded absolutely absurd. But then another thing I was coming to realize—the more ridiculous something seemed, the more likely it was true.

  “We can do that without your help, thank you very much.” I trusted this smooth-talking, selkie-skin-stealing demon horse about as much as I desired to kiss Sal with a mouthful of mushrooms. We’d do everything in our power to get Amelia rid of him, but we’d do it on our own term
s. “Violet and I happen to know the queen very well.”

  Although, speaking with her was another matter entirely… Trixie had been transferred from Bridgewood State Hospital several weeks prior. As much as she’d wanted to remain there, she wasn’t deemed criminally insane, just… insane. But wouldn’t you be after dealing with Clarisse Jones for any length of time? Since she wasn’t a threat to herself or others, she wasn’t required to be institutionalized. So now she lived in a “well-being” facility right in town. The only reason she agreed to move there was because of the doll hospital right next door.

  I grabbed hold of Violet’s arm. “Come on. We can take care of this ourselves.”

  “Is that so?” he asked.

  “We just have to convince Trixie to see us,” I whispered to her. “Once she does, I’m sure she’ll listen. She’ll want to know about her statues.” Up until this point, she hadn’t wanted any visitors. And who knew how long she was going to stay there? She wasn’t ready to return home yet, not after all the horrible memories, all her doll friends cruelly thrown into a burning pyre.

  “Can you also take care of Aquillon on your own too?”

  “Now, who in the heck is that?”

  “Someone you’d never want to face down without my help.”

  “He’s just messing with us,” I said.

  “Am I? Can you really afford to take that chance?”

  Grrr.

  And that was how we found ourselves inside Violet’s Soap & Tea Emporium an hour and a half before we were expected to walk down the aisle.

  It’d been comical, sprinting down the street in our billowing gowns and vinelike high heels on a Saturday night, but who was around to see us anyway? Kieran had slid Amelia up to his arms and carried her, assuring her it’d all be over soon. Along the way, he had filled in the rest of the blanks for us.

  Allegedly, not all the stone statues had revived yet. Kieran claimed to have been the first, with Amelia shortly afterward. The whole skin fiasco occurred before they’d turned to stone, of course, which is why he stated he couldn’t remember where he’d placed it. But the moment he’d awakened he knew they had unfinished business, so he took the first chance to escape until he was able to recover fully from the decades spent frozen in time.